On Valentine’s Day, I shared my not-so-scientific gay/straight Relationship Comparison Study. It illustrated some of the ways gay and straight parents differ, many of the funny ways we’re alike, and how all our relationships need a little help sometimes — the message behind Plum Organics’ fun Do Your Part(ner) campaign
I also mentioned that my husband and I took Plum’s Do Your Part(ner) Pledge, making a commitment to try some new ways to rekindle and reconnect. I’m here to report back on our successes and failures, as well as to give away a bunch of nifty Do Your Part(ner) kits from Plum I’ve unofficially named BOX OF BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW.
But first, a few (minimal) details about the last couple of weeks — what helped and what flopped, and some ideas to hopefully help you and your main squeeze squeeze in some extra quality time.
Homeruns:
Flowers and candy are classics for a reason. I’m not talking about a gas station carnation/candy bar combo, but something thoughtful. We used to send flowers a lot more often, so getting them now makes me nostalgic — while also making me feel loved. I also sent some to Nick’s office, which is always good for a few “I WISH MY HUSBAND SENT ME FLOWERS!” comments from his coworkers.
Romantic sticky notes. You know I love me some lunch notes, but I realized I’d never done one for my husband. I snuck one into his briefcase one morning for a nice (and wee bit naughty) surprise.
Revived the Date Night. This is something else we did more often when Jon was a baby, but for various reasons have let it slide recently. It’s just too easy to get into a comfortable (lazy, sleepy, apathetic) routine. Nick suggested a restaurant downtown, so I dropped Jon at the sitter and we did the full-on adults-on-a-date thing.
Strike Outs:
Slow your rolls. And your butter. And extra large side of garlic mashed potatoes with gravy. We ate too much at dinner, which made snoozing on the couch way more appealing than snuggling in bed. Luckily we persisted — and also skipped dessert at the restaurant. If your sweet tooth strikes, you can always “work up an appetite” then raid the fridge afterwards.
As any athlete will tell you, stretching is key. Especially if you’re more of a veteran player, not in peak playing form, and have been out of the game for a while. …If you know what I mean. Also, Advil.
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A Commitment to Commitment:
As Papa and I head into our 20th year together, we’re reminded it’s important to not only revisit the things that attracted us to each other in the first place, but to be open to other ways to keep our connection and communication strong. Here are a few things we’re going to try in the coming months.
Drink less. An after-dinner bourbon was great to set the mood on date night; any more than that, and we would’ve ended up collapsed on the sofa in a snore-off.
Devices in Sleep Mode. Like a lot of couples, we keep all our iStuff on the nightstand. Time to nip this sleep-depriving habit in the earbud, and put electronics out of reach when the lights go out. More sleep = more energy = more fun on date night.
Pursue healthier lives. In addition to more sleep, examine what, when, and how much we eat; exercise more consistently
More smooching. Whether we’re on a date, saying goodnight, or hanging out with the kiddo, PDA keeps us (literally) in touch, models healthy affection to Jon, and also helps balance the near invisibility of affectionate same-sex couples elsewhere in our son’s life.
Be spontaneous. But always plan for an overnighter.
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GOODIES TO GIVE AWAY!
Plum’s Do Your Part(ner) kit contains all sorts of awesomeness for parents in need of a reboot: a $50 gift card for dinner on Plum • wine glasses • truffles • love note stickies • massage oil • Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel • a “do not disturb” sign • breath spray • a packet of “personal” items • an assortment of Plum Organics’ yummy snacks
We partook in about 7 of these, but I’ll leave it to you to guess which ones. 😉
HOW TO WIN:
To win your own BOX OF BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW, go take Plum’s Do Your Part(ner) Pledge, then come back and leave a comment sharing how long it’s been since your last date night… and what you plan to do about it!
(If you’re currently ON a date, just comment with a smooch emoji [😘], then PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY!)
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I’m pleased to have partnered with Plum Organics for another honest, unfiltered conversation about parenting.
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