Avenge the Fallen: Nursery Rhymes Edition

We’re less than a month from the premier of Avengers: Endgame, and the MCU is at peak zeitgeist. You probably saw Avengers: Infinity War (it made over $2 billion, so the odds are you did). If you’re like me, you’ve been awaiting this follow up film with gamma ray-levels of anticipation. I’m assuming you’ve also seen the Endgame trailer… along with 80 million other folks, and counting.

You may have also come across the Avenge the Fallen posters. They feature the heroes that survived Thanos’ universe-altering snap in full color; those that got dusted are in a somber shade of black and white. Cool stuff.

The Internet definitely saw the posters, and has been meme-ing the bejesus out of them. You can check out a few of the funnier versions here and here. Among the lampooned are Game of Thrones, Lion King, RuPaul’s Drag Race, and of course the Life Alert commercials.

Being the superhero fan that I am… and the lover of puns… AND a dad — I had to toss my two cents into the mix. So without further fanfare, here is my fatherly homage to The Fallen…

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AVENGE THE FALLEN: NURSERY RHYMES EDITION

1. Humpty Dumpty

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Superpowers: Excellent climbing skills, high source of protein
Weaknesses: sitting, balance
How he fell: his butt is super round
Current status: scrambled
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2. Jack and Jill

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Superpowers: hill-climbing, water-fetching, adorableness
Weaknesses: teamwork
How they fell: It was Jack’s fault, really.
Current status: broken crown and soiled petticoat, respectively

3. Five Little Monkeys

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Superpowers: jumping
Weaknesses: landing, following orders
How they fell: head-first, repeatedly
Current status: broken heads/spirits

4. Rock-a-bye Baby

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Superpowers: high-altitude slumber
Weaknesses: being a baby up in a tree
How they fell: parental negligence
Current status: still falling, for all we know

5. Ring Around the Rosie

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Superpowers: human merry-go-round
Weaknesses: vertigo
How they fell: The Plague
Current status: in quarantine

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Suffice to say, childhood — like supeheroing — is dangerous business. Parenting Tip: keep an eye on your kids — be they human, monkey or egg — and they just might grow up to save the world.

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Did you guess them all? Did I forget any? Let me know in the comments!

Disclaimer: I normally create my own graphics, but I’ve got work to do and a kid to pick up from school. Nursery rhyme images were grabbed from the Interwebs, and are not my property or creation. “Avenge the Fallen” graphic is a template, which you can play around here.