hygiene

Welcome to the Party: Gay Men Have Been Appreciating ‘Dad Bods’ for Years

May 14, 2015 | By Brent Almond | DAD STUFF, LGBT STUFF

dad bod or gay bear

By now you’ve no doubt heard the term “Dad Bod,” and have subsequently seen a marked increase in the number of paunchy, fuzzy man-tummies in your strolls through the Internet.

The term was coined by a college student to describe her ideal guy: a less-ripped/more average fellow who she could cuddle up to and ultimately settle down with. This phenomenon has had beer-bellied men rejoicing, some women crying foul, and me wondering why this is news.

Dad Bods aren’t a new trend, at least not with the always-ahead-of-the-curve Gays. Gay men have been celebrating their stout brethren for decades, declaring definitively that Fat + Hairy ≠ Undateable. They’re called Bears, and as a card-carrying member of this cuddliest of gay subcultures, I want to officially welcome you to the party!

While not without their flaws and stereotypes, Bears pride themselves in being more accepting of the average-to-overweight man. Bears are the “real man’s” alternative to the cliché of a smooth, sculpted Adonis. And as a gay bear and a dad, I am undoubtedly the ultimate expert on what constitutes a “Dad Bod” …and how to make the most of it.

So to my hefty, hetero brothers, let me offer you some of my unsolicited expertise.

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5 Ways Little Kids Wash Their Hands

January 13, 2015 | By Brent Almond | DAD STUFF

5 ways little kids wash their hands

They don’t call this the dead of winter for nothing. Bitter cold. No sunshine. Cooped-up kids tearing the house apart as you slowly tear out your hair. No new episodes of The Walking Dead  for nearly a month.

And the sickness – the never ending cycle of sickness.

Mid-winter is always rough for families with kids, and this year has been particularly infectious. Aside from getting a flu shot, the most effective way to prevent illness is to wash your hands. Every doctor, childcare professional, teacher, parent, and educational Muppet has been drilling this into your kids’ heads since birth. And yet, based on personal experience of how regularly my child practices responsible (unassisted) hygiene, it’s a wonder we’re not in the midst of a full-blown toddler zombie apocalypse. Here are five reasons why…

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Old Spice and the Horrors of Adolescence

December 15, 2014 | By Brent Almond | DAD STUFF

I grew up the son and grandson of Baptist ministers — men not historically well-versed in the art of scented body sprays. While I learned many valuable lessons from my father, his knowledge of man fragrances was not something he passed down to me. I recall in 9th grade wondering why my dad’s new aftershave smelled so familiar. Upon investigating his medicine cabinet, I discovered he was slathering himself with Charlie every morning. The smell was familiar because my most recent (and much more experienced) girlfriend had worn it. I was horrified. Disgusted. Confused. Now I understood why every time my dad walked by I had flashbacks of being cornered in the church kitchen during Vacation Bible School. The combined memories of her ample bosom and the cloying amounts of perfume she wore still causes me to gasp for air.

Thus, I was left to learn how to “Scent Responsibly” on my own, experimenting with all manner of colognes and deodorants, with varying degrees of success. But my son will never have to endure what I went through. Nor will any other young man, ever. Thanks to Old Spice and their line of Re-Fresh Body Sprays.

Originally launched in January with the viral video “Mom Song,” Old Spice introduces new scents and products via the fatherly response, “Dad Song.” Check out this new masterpiece below…

As you can see, “Dad Song” illustrates in song (weird, weird song) the contrast between the long-held notions that moms want their boys to never leave home, while dads can’t wait for them to grow up and get out. I was the oldest of 4 boys, yet I found the portrayals in the ad did not mirror my experience. While both my parents were understandably forlorn when their eldest (and best) flew the coop, the couldn’t wait for the other three to pack it up and move on with their lives. I guess I’m just special that way.

In any event, your dear old Designer Daddy and his new best friends at Old Spice have got a mountain of manly merch to stuff the stocking of every man in your life. Poor phrasing aside, every man needs to smell good and this is some seriously bounteous booty.

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SuperLunchNotes: The Power Of Dad…and Oral Hygiene

June 9, 2014 | By Brent Almond | DAD STUFF, DESIGN STUFF

Some of my favorite moments as a dad are ones I don’t even see. Like my son’s face when he finds the note I put in his lunch every day. I make them either the night prior or before he gets up the next morning; I then sneak them into his lunch bag, and send him off to preschool with Papa. I’ve heard plenty of compliments about them — from Jon’s teachers, his classmates, his classmates’ parents. And every afternoon when I pick him up, I ask Jon if he liked his note — you know, as a way to strengthen his memory recall and attention to detail…

So even though I don’t observe my son’s daily discovery, or get to see his friends huddled in anticipation of each new character, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve been doing this for nearly a year now, and while it’s sometimes a chore to keep coming up with new ideas, it also forces me to think of something positive to say as I send him out into the world each day. It’s my little way of staying connected. A way to pass down my vast and vital knowledge of superheroes and pop culture. And it’s a way to use my powers as a Dad for good!

For this Father’s Day, I was included in a campaign for Oral-B called Power of Dad. One of the components was to post photos illustrating my paternal powers or other special fathering moments. I decided instead to dedicate a week’s worth of SuperLunchNotes to the campaign, while offering some much-needed reminders to my son regarding oral hygiene. I’m setting my #PowerOfDad to stealth mode.

Below are the notes, each captioned with a feature of Oral-B’s newest toothbrush, the Oral-B 7000 Black…and also a plug for their awesome floss.

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WEEK 43: June 2 – June 6, 2014 (Oral Hygiene Week)

Hulk  |  The Count  |  Wonder Woman  |   Venom  |  Princess Leia

hulk
Indicator® bristles remind you to replace your brush head every 3 months (sooner, if you’re a Hulk), or once they’ve faded halfway (or turned green, if you’re a Hulk).
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READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Do You Have That ICK Factor?

April 6, 2014 | By Brent Almond | THINGS DAD DIGS

clx_ick_awards_logo-blue

Designer Daddy, in conjunction with Life of Dad, in conjunction with How To Be A Dad & Mom Spark, in conjunction with Clorox, is hosting an EP-ICK event on Twitter this Wednesday! It’s the CLOROX ICK AWARDS! But what’s with all the conjunctioning, and what makes this so EP-ICK? (Sorry, that was too clever not to repeat)

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Wry Baby Super Sale & Super-er Giveaway

December 5, 2013 | By Brent Almond | THINGS DAD DIGS, THINGS MY KID DIGS

Early on during my dad-dom, one of my favorite places to find cute/cool/clever stuff for the kiddo was Wry Baby. I even got to interview their head creative honcho and fellow designer daddy, David Sapp. The only downside is that JJ has outgrown all of their super fly get-ups — but that doesn’t mean I can’t share the wonderfulness of Wry Baby with the rest of the world!

So just in time for holiday shopping, Designer Daddy is hooking you up with info on a SUPER SALE and an even SUPER-ER GIVEAWAY! Deets on both below…

THE SUPER SNAPSUIT™ SALE!.

wrybaby_one_day_sale

ALL of Wry Baby’s snappy Snapsuits* are half off, so hurry and snap up a sackful!
Great for:
baby showers
stocking stuffers
dressing babies

One Day Only 50% OFF All Snapsuits  |  December 6, 2013  |  wrybaby.com

Begins December 6 at 12:01 am, ends December 6 at 11:59pm. Offer good for in-stock Snapsuits and Super Snapsuits only. Sorry, no rain checks or backorders.

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THE SUPER-ER SWAG GIVEAWAY!
Bypass the over-crowded, non-cool baby superstores this year… Designer Daddy is giving away a pile of FREE AWESOME STUFF! This Wry Baby Swag-A-Palooza prize package includes the following primo items:
A: Born to Be Prom King Snapsuit
B: Born to Be Prom Queen Snapsuit
C: Attack of the 50ft. Baby Stacking Blocks (baby not included)
D: Mysterio Predicts Your Child’s Future T-shirt
E: Bathe Like A Pirate Washcloth Set
Total prize package value in excess of 100 smackeroos!

wrybaby-combo-1

Do the little Rafflecopter thingie below for your chance(s) to win ALL THE STUFF and make your kiddo the hippest/happiest on the block — nay, the world! Contest runs December 5-9, 2013.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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*In case you’re wondering, Snapsuits™ are indeed similar to Onesies.® The difference? Onesies® are a registered trademark of Gerber®. So good for Wry Baby — because nobody wants their baby getting sued.

Meet the Monsters of Dad Blogging at Dad 2.0 Summit

October 31, 2013 | By Brent Almond | DESIGN STUFF, LESSONS LEARNED

I’ve sung the praises of Cottonelle Care Routine — the wondrous wipes and the terrific TP — in both poetry and prose. I’ve regaled you with tales of toilet treachery. And if you’re still reading these rear-related posts from a certain group of blogging bums, it means you’re either stalking me (in which case, please buy a t-shirt!) or you’re really keen on going to Dad 2.0 Summit in New Orleans, Jan 30-Feb 1, 2014.

I know I’m extremely excited to be experiencing all kinds of firsts for those three days… My first time attending Dad 2.0 Summit. First trip to New Orleans. And my first time to meet many of my fellow Cottonelle Brand Bumbassadors that have been bombarding you with poop-tweets and judging your own poems worthy to be praised or flushed.

We’re going to be announcing our final two weekly winners on Monday, November 4, so do your doo diligence, and get to haiku-ing. Because you could then be the BIG winner of the trip to Dad 2.0, which we announce a mere two days after that, on November 6!

In the meantime, I thought I’d spend the last few hours of Halloween (OH MY GOD I’M SO EXHAUSTED MY SON IS FOUR AND WENT TO ALL THE HOUSES AND ATE ALL THE CANDY!) introducing you to our fine and fancy gang of fellows who’ve served as your judge and jury these last several weeks.

And YES, you too can meet us all live (-ish) and in person in New Orleans if you win the BIG PRIZE! That right there should be motivation to get off your bum and get to Twittering.

So here they are (better-late-than-never) THE MONSTERS OF DAD BLOGGING BRAND BUMBASSADORS:

JAY I WANT TO SOKOL YOUR BLOOD

(AKA @DudeOfTheHouse)

sokol-1 READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Cottonelle & Designer Daddy Have That Can-Doo Spirit

October 14, 2013 | By Brent Almond | LESSONS LEARNED

Greetings Dear Readers! It’s me, your bums-talking Brand Ambassador, bringing you another message from the fine folks at Cottonelle!

I and the other BA’s have been on a roll reading (and judging) all the wipe-related haikus you’ve been Tweeting out the wazoo. We’ve already given away $200 Amazon gift cards to 3 potty-mouthed poets. Check out their cheeky, winning work*:

Week 1 winner: @dad_strangeland
Did you wipe? I ask / My four year old shakes her head / Pants already raised.

Week 2 winner: @jesteram
Cottonelle sheets, wipes— / like yin and yang for your butt: / Two forces, one whole.

Week 3 winner: @DeadTurkeyBlog
Please try Cottenelle. / Like wiping with a pillow. / Without the divorce.

These lucky lads are now in the running to win the Grandest of Prizes: an all-expenses paid trip to Dad 2.0 Summit in New Orleans! And we have 4 more winners to choose over the next few weeks, so you still have lots of chances to score a gift card and a seat at Dad 2.0!

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While scrutinizing all these haiku hijinks has been hilarious, it’s also caused me to wax nostalgic. All the poop-talk got me reminiscing about the times in my life I could have really used some Cottonelle TP and Cleansing Cloths. Please indulge me as I over-share one such occasion…

WARNING: DO NOT READ IF ON YOUR LUNCH BREAK

I spent the summer after college in Siberia on a mission trip with a group from my church. We were in Irkutsk, a city of nearly a million people — yet we often found ourselves in rather sub-standard plumbing predicaments. One afternoon we were giving a presentation at a high school, when my lunch of dried fish, pork-filled dumplings and mysterious cabbage concoction decided to take the Trans-Siberian Express out of my body. I raced down the halls to the bathroom and scurried into one of the stalls. Not only did the stall not have a door, the bowl (which was common) didn’t have a seat. And to my horror – nor the toilet paper dispenser, toilet paper. Starting to panic, I hobbled around and check the other stalls. Nyet, nyet, nyet. No doors, no seats, no paper.

While this is not the toilet in the story, it was the one in our flat. That we used every day for 3 months.

While this isn’t the toilet in my story, it WAS the one in my Siberian flat… that I used every day for 3 months.

Lunch had now taken its leave, yet here I sat on my seatless bowl, not sure what to do next. I rifled through my pockets and found two very disconcerting options. Option 1: a small religious pamphlet illustrated in comic-book form. Option 2: my Bible.

The pamphlet was slick and varnished, with rather sharp corners. My Bible, on the other hand, had soft, tissue-like pages. It was my Sophie’s Choice of sanitation.

Luckily I remembered my Bible had several blank pages in the back for taking notes. My choice was made, desecration was avoided, my ass was saved! However some Cottonelle toilet paper and wipes sure would have been a god-send.

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Okay, now it’s your turn to confess.
What’s your scariest scatalogical situation? Please post in the comments. My favorite will get a shout-out on Facebook (anonymous, if you like) and my deepest admiration and sympathy.

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careroutine3

Late to the poop party and have no idea what I’m talking about? Take a second and go read this. I’ll wait… Okay, all caught up? Great! Now get to Tweeting haikus about Cottonelle and bums and wipes and poop, and maybe I’ll see you in NOLA!

*To read all eligible haikus as well as full contest details, visit the Haiku Challenge web page.

[Disclaimer: I am being compensated by Kimberly-Clark for my participation in my role as a Brand Ambassador. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. All opinions are mine and/or JJ’s.]

Cottonelle & Designer Daddy Get to the Bottom of Things

September 25, 2013 | By Brent Almond | DESIGN STUFF, LESSONS LEARNED

I’ve been tapped to be part of an elite squad of Brand Ambassadors, to tell you about an exciting new contest from the fine folks at Cottonelle!
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But first a word from our sponsor:

Are you tired of leaving the loo, only to return within minutes, realizing you’ve, ahem… missed a spot?

Does your morning constitutional frequently have you wiped out from all that wiping?

Have you longed for tips to help your toddler top off their potty-training technique?

Introducing the Cottonelle Care Routine!
The next time you
’re relaxing on your throne, follow up Cottonelle Toilet Paper with Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths, for the latest in tush technology!

careroutine2

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So, yeah. I’m doing toilet paper commercials on my blog now. Wondering how dear old Designer Dad fits this one into his otherwise awesome site about design and daddyhood and other cool, bloggy-type stuff? Simple, really.

FIRST: Being a dad involves A LOT of poop. And pee. And wiping. And quite a bit on the kiddo, too. If I need to explain this further, you’ve clearly never been around a child (or a grown man), or been one yourself.

SECOND: I love me some contests and giveaways and free stuff! Being a fancy-pants Brand Ambassador and all, I can’t actually win any of this stuff. But I’m pleased as punch to share it with all my awesome readers!

So what’s the free stuff?
Cottonelle is giving away a $200 Amazon gift card every Monday between now and November 4 — seven in all. The grand poo-bah prize is an all-expenses paid trip to the Dad 2.0 Summit conference in New Orleans, Jan 30-Feb 1, 2014. Airfare, two nights at the J.W. Marriott Hotel, registration fees — the whole shebang. Hebang, rather.

THIRD: To enter, all you do is write haiku about poo. (Okay, not exactly about poo, but it rhymed and was super cute.) You know how I love a clever turn of phrase, so this part’s a real hoot for me. Flex those clever craniums, fill your poems full of puns about keeping clean, tweet them with the hashtags #LetsTalkBums and #Haiku, and you’re in!

I and the other 6 way-more-illustrious bloggers will be tweeting haiku right along with you for fun, and then judging our favorite each week. One of those seven weekly winners will be chosen randomly as our big winner.

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Alright, this post is unrolling a bit longer than I’d hoped, so just a few more details before you go:

Check out Cottonelle’s Facebook page to join in on the potty talk and for cleaning tips, coupons and other fun stuff.

Be sure and visit the Haiku Challenge web page often, for all the official rules and where we’re collecting all your witty tweets in one big roll.

NEED A HAIKU REFRESHER?
3 lines of poetic brilliance…
1st line: 5 syllables
2nd line: 7 syllables
3rd line: 5 syllables

Break the lines with a return or a “/” and don’t forget to tag each tweet with #LetsTalkBums and #Haiku.

 notsofresh-haiku

OMG, THIS IS SO LONG AND NOW I HAVE TO GO PEE!
BUT ONE MORE THING!

Join me and the other Cottonelle Dads for a Twitter Party, hosted by Whit Honea on Monday, September 30 from 8-9pm EST. Use hashtag #LetsTalkBums and come ready to win a $50 Amazon gift card or two, an iPad mini, and hang around as we announce the first $200 weekly winner!

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[Disclaimer: I am being compensated by Kimberly-Clark for my participation in my role as a Brand Ambassador. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. All opinions are mine and/or JJ’s.]

A gay toy that pees. You know, for kids!

August 23, 2013 | By Brent Almond | DAD STUFF, LESSONS LEARNED, THINGS MY KID DIGS

A wee bit ago, I got my all-time oddest product review request. It was for UBBAS bath toys, which are essentially rubber cups — somewhat people-shaped — that can hold hands, hug, and pee. They come in four varieties: Papa, Mama, Brother and Sister. Did I mention the peeing part? Because Papa and Brother UBBA pee straight out, while Mama and Sister UBBA pee straight down.

Yup, a gay toy that pees. I told you it was odd.

I OF COURSE SAID YES. Who better to review a cleverly-designed toy for kids with gay parents?

3pp

The family that pees together, um… I got nothin.

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UBBAS Bath Cups
were created by designer Rob Spalding as a tool that offers a fun, loving representation of family for kids of same-sex parents. Each is sold separately, so I got 2 Papas and 1 Brother, natch. It’s also meant to open dialog with your kids about their bodies. You know, because of the peeing.

Now I’ve been griping since before JJ was born about the lack of books, toys, shows, etc. that portray kids with same-sex parents. It’s a large part of what motivates me to blog or do any of the advocacy I do – to make sure JJ sees other examples of families like his, so that he’s confident and well-equipped to answer questions or deal with conflicts he might face because of his unique family makeup. But I’ll admit to being a little weirded out by this toy. I’m a fairly liberal guy, but the thought of mixing same-sex parents, bath time and peeing just sounded skeevy. Not to mention a tough sell to mainstream America.

READ FULL ARTICLE >>

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