FRIDGE WISDOM

A Good Enough Parent

April 4, 2017 | By Brent Almond | DAD STUFF, LESSONS LEARNED

good enough parent

I don’t do a lot of memes, and I dole out parenting advice even less frequently. But this is a message I’ve had drilled into my head by therapist, friend, and husband alike, so I thought if I made it into a pretty graphic I might believe it more. And that it might help some other parent believe it, too.

Also, feel free to totally ignore this “advice” about being a “good enough parent” — because, you know, it’s on the internet.

Stay strong, be well, talk soon.

xoxox
Brent

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Fridge Wisdom: Same-Sex Marriage in the United States!

June 26, 2015 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

I can’t believe it’s finally here… my last state magnet post commemorating the progression of same-sex marriage across the United States! For those of you just joining this odd journey and wondering why the heck I chose this method to mark the march of progress, you can poke around these posts. Or just go with it.

I’d done a little prep work asking for magnets from the hold-out remaining states, so was a tiny bit ahead of the game. Then I went and got sick, laid up for a couple of days. I was sleeping when the Supreme Court announced their ruling, but eventually got a spark of inspiration and took my son on a spur-of-the-moment field trip to SCOTUS (more about that trip in a future post). Which is why I’m just now getting around to this.

From the moment SCOTUS’ ruling was read this morning, I started getting messages and texts along the lines of, “Now you gotta find a magnet for the whole USA!”

I thought about it, but quickly decided against it. While the state governments (and quite a few of the citizens) of Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Missouri, Mississippi, North Dakota, Nebraska, Ohio, South Dakota, Tennessee and Texas deserve to have their noses rubbed in this victory, those couples waiting and hoping and fighting to get married in those states do not. They deserve their own day — their own magnetic moment in the sun, as it were.

So without further fanfare, the remaining state magnets…

Same-Sex Marriage in the United States!
READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Fridge Wisdom: Same-Sex Marriage Legal in Ireland, Lots of Eyes Smiling

May 26, 2015 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

same-sex marriage in Ireland

A hearty congratulations (and a lifted pint) to the people of Ireland! On Saturday, The Emerald Isle became the first country to legalize same-sex marriage by popular vote. With a turnout of 60% of the population, the marriage referendum was approved by a 62-38% majority.

While it’s encouraging to see a sizable number of its citizens voting to legalize same-sex marriage in Ireland, it’s still a shame that such a vote had to happen at all. Not just a shame, unethical. Someone’s freedoms shouldn’t be determined by the will of the masses — especially when the individuals in question are well in the minority.

Can you imagine having to allow millions of strangers vote whether or not you could marry the love of your life? I can. It happened three times in my home state of Maryland. Only after the third vote passed (by a small margin) was I able to legally marry Papa… whom I’d been with for 17 years. Maryland was part of the first (and only) batch of U.S. states to legalize same-sex marriage by popular vote. While the eventual result was wonderful, the process was humiliating and frustrating, leaving myself and many others in the LGBT community feeling powerless and without advocate.

Still, I’m happy for Ireland. And with our country’s highest court deciding the fate of same-sex marriage very soon, I hope Ireland’s progress helps sway SCOTUS in the right direction.

Another thing Ireland can teach the U.S.? How not to be a sore loser. Several groups opposed to the Marriage Referendum showed good sportsmanship in the face of defeat.

“Congratulations to the Yes side. Well done.” was tweeted by a conservative Catholic think tank.

Mothers and Fathers Matter, another group opposing same-sex marriage, stated, “This is their day, and they should enjoy it. Though at times this campaign was unpleasant for people on all sides, nobody who involves themselves in a campaign does so with anything but the good of their country at heart. There is no better way to resolve difference than the way we are using today.”

Can you imagine an American politician (on either side) saying anything even remotely similar? How about a Supreme Court justice? Certainly not Scalia.

Here’s wishing on a four-leaf clover…

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A handy map showing the progress of same-sex marriage in the world. And you thought it was frustrating looking at the U.S. map…

same-sex marriage in ireland
Click to biggefy. Source: Wikipedia

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Every time a country or US state legalizes same-sex marriage, I post a photo of a magnet from either my fridge or that of a reader. Take a look at previous magnet posts.

For more family-friendly(ish) fun, visit Designer Daddy on Facebook!

Fridge Wisdom: Same-Sex Marriage Shines in Florida*

January 6, 2015 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IN FLORIDA
Florida:
same-sex marriage ruled legal August 21, 2014. Law went into effect January 6, 2015.
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Despite being home to gay-friendly Disney World, Fort Lauderdale, and scores of left-leaning retirees, Florida is just as well-known for its ultra conservative politics. As recent as 2010, same-sex adoption was still illegal — thanks in large part to Anita Bryant and her homophobia-disguised-as-Christian-concern Save Our Children campaign. Florida’s had a Republican governor since 1999. And Miami Beach didn’t have its first gay pride parade until 2009. Seriously?

READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Fridge Wisdom: Four More States Make It Over the Rainbow

November 23, 2014 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

And then there were 15. Just over a dozen states remain either defiant against or dragging their heels on legalizing same-sex marriage. 62.4% of Americans now live in a state where same-sex marriage is legal. As we get down to these last few hangers-on, I’m tempted to highlight the ironies of the infamously anti-gay events and people these states have produced. But I’m in more of a celebratory mood, and will refrain from such pettiness.

For example, it would be tacky to mention Matthew Shepard was beaten, tied to a fence and left to die outside Laramie, Wyoming. Or that his death and the ensuing outcry is what many consider the turning point for LGBT rights in the United States.

I’d certainly never remind you that while Kansas is where Dorothy Gale hails from, it’s also where Fred Phelps called home and set up his hate-mongering “church.”

And heaven forbid I list some of South Carolina‘s greatest hits, which include Strom Thurmond, Linda Oliver, Earl Ballard, Lindsey Graham, Mark Sanford, and Bob Jones University.

As for Montana… well, I honestly don’t know much about Montana. Isn’t that where Miley Cyrus is from?

In all seriousness, I was particularly excited about same-sex marriage in South Carolina. The legal announcement also brought with it the engagement announcement of some very dear friends. Rob and Dwight have been together for 13 years; they moved back to Charleston from DC several years ago to be closer to their extended families. It was a difficult move to make, so I’m beyond ecstatic the courts have rewarded their commitment to family by allowing them to become a legal family at long last. Congratulations, guys! I’ll be waiting by the mailbox for an invitation!
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Same sex marriage in Wyoming

Wyoming: same-sex marriage legalized Oct 17, effective October 21, 2014. (L to R: Magnets courtesy of Chad Welch and Brad Gordon)

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READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Fridge Wisdom: Way To Go, Idaho… and North Carolina, Alaska & Arizona, too!

October 19, 2014 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

I don’t have a particular fondness for Idaho over the other three states that legalized same-sex marriage last week — it just made for a better rhyme. Ironically, it’s the only state of the four I’ve not visited. In any case — way to go! Over 60% of the US population now lives in a state where marriage equality is the law of the land!

Join me in celebrating the four new states that this past week helped to make the inevitable all the more so. And when you stop and think about it, it’s pretty amazing that gays and lesbians can now legally wed in places like the Grand Canyon, Outer Banks, Twin Falls or right next door to Sarah Palin
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same-sex marriage north carolina

North Carolina: same-sex marriage legal, effective October 10, 2014. (Magnet on left courtesy of Mark Mitchell)

READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Fridge Wisdom: Same-Sex Marriage in the U.S., Over Halfway There!

October 10, 2014 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

Are you having trouble keeping score? Yeah, me too. But this is a good trouble to have. So that’s 27 states and the District of Columbia — 55.3% of the US population — lives where same-sex marriage is now legal.

Here’s the play-by-play from another watershed week in marriage equality… On Monday, the Supreme Court declined to re-visit decisions from lower courts, thus granting marriage equality in Indiana, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Utah and Virginia. Colorado lifted its ban on same-sex marriage on Tuesday. Similar actions followed on Wednesday in Nevada and West Virginia.

It looked like Idaho was in the green (see map below) for a while, but on Wednesday Justice Kennedy implemented a temporary stay. I feel bad for the couples in Idaho wanting to get married, but maybe this will give me time to find someone that has an Idaho fridge magnet. Even a magnet of a potato would be fine!
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Same-sex marriage in Nevada and West Virginia

Nevada and West Virginia: same-sex marriage legal, effective October 9, 2014.

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READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Fridge Wisdom: Five More States Allow Same-Sex Marriage

October 7, 2014 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

Oklahoma Wisconsin Utah Virginia Indiana same-sex marriage
Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Utah, Virginia
and Indiana: same-sex marriage becomes legal October 6, 2014.

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I’ll leave it to the political junkies and legal analysts to dissect the ramifications of yesterday’s Supreme Court non-decision. But to summarize, five states now join the ranks of those legalizing same-sex marriage in the United States.

Some of these I’ve covered before, only to have them redacted. And it was beginning to look like it would be a while before I’d get to throw another magnet up on the old virtual Designer Daddy fridge. But once SCOTUS decided not to hear the arguments against same-sex marriage in Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Wisconsin, they defaulted to the lower courts’ decisions, making it legal. Ain’t justice grand?

READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Dear Supporters of Same-Sex Marriage: Please Stop Raining On Our Parade*

August 11, 2014 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

*LGBT community, I’m talking to you, too.
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Same-Sex Marriage In The United States

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I’ve been remiss in my duties as a same-sex marriage magnetic merry-maker.
I decided at some point (probably during the whole Utah kerfuffle, or perhaps Indiana flip-flopping) that I wasn’t going to fully celebrate a state legalizing same-sex marriage (with a magnet and blog post) UNTIL IT HAD FULLY LEGALIZED SAME-SEX MARRIAGE. The majority of recent court cases on marriage equality haven’t resulted in immediate (or lasting) positive results. I’m the kind of person that likes to wait to celebrate until the contract has been signed, the keys are in my hand, or the baby is in my arms. I’ve been burned a couple of times from premature revelry, so I’m particularly cautiously optimistic when it comes to this subject.

And it’s admittedly been confusing to keep track. Here’s the tally,** as of this writing:

  • 18 states and DC have legalized same-sex marriage
  • 2 states are in progress, with marriages set to start (or restart) later this month
  • 9 states are in flux or on pause. In most instances, a court ruling was made declaring a same-sex marriage ban unconstitutional… resulting in marriages being performed… and then a stay being put on the ruling while the opposition got out their red tape to cause some clusterf*ckery.

There are scads of people (my husband included) with more legal knowledge than me, that could use more official terms and offer more detailed explanations. But this is how I explain it to keep my brain from imploding from all the minutia and two-steps-forward-three-steps-backwardness of it all.

One important thing to be gleaned from the current state of same-sex marriage in the United States is that momentum is clearly in our favor. Every single case that has gone before a state court in 2014 has ruled for legalizing marriage equality. Our team’s win column is filled to overflowing.

But I have a bone to pick with “our team” — the LGBT community and our ever-increasing number of hetero allies: Please stop raining on the same-sex marriage parade.

READ FULL ARTICLE >>

Fridge Wisdom: Same-Sex Marriage Legal in Indiana

June 26, 2014 | By Brent Almond | LGBT STUFF

same-sex marriage in Indiana
Indiana: Same-sex marriage legalized June 25, 2014. Folks gettin’ married the very same day.

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The birthplace of Letterman, Lincoln and Larry Bird — and now home to a whole lot more little pink houses* — Indiana joins 18 states and the District of Columbia in legalizing same-sex marriage! Just over a month after gay marriage became legal in Pennsylvania, equality wins out two states over as U.S. District Court Judge Richard L. Young declared Indiana’s ban on marriage equality unconstitutional.

In his ruling, Judge Young states,
“In time, Americans will look at the marriage of couples such as [the plaintiffs], and refer to it simply as a marriage — not a same-sex marriage. These couples, when gender and sexual orientation are taken away, are in all respects like the family down the street. The Constitution demands that we treat them as such.”

Until that time, congratulations to all the homo-Hoosiers who can finally get hitched! Indiana is the 11th state where a federal judge has struck down a marriage ban since SCOTUS overturned Prop8 and DOMA. We’re on a roll, baby!
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BUT WHAT ABOUT UTAH?
First it was legalized. Then it wasn’t. Then yesterday a judge overturned the ban. While I’m very glad for this step back in the right direction, the governor still plans on appealing the overturn of the denial of the freedom for the refusal of rights on the ban and… OH MY GOD I’M SO CONFUSED!!! So until same-sex marriage in Utah is a once-and-for-all done deal, signed in blood and toasted with Caffeine-Free Diet Coke, I’m holding off on putting their magnet up gain.

Since the next step my very well be the U.S. Supreme Court, when they do get around to appealing, the decision could be monumental — and hopefully turn my whole map green…
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SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IN THE UNITED STATES

as of 6.25.14

same-sex marriage map of the united states
Click to biggefy. Source: Wikipedia

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Every time a country or US state legalizes same-sex marriage, I post a photo of a magnet from either my fridge or that of a reader. Take a look at some of my previous magnet posts.

For more maps and magnets (not really, but for sure a lot of fun), stop by the Designer Daddy Facebook page, or follow along on Twitter!

*In 2010, the song “Pink Houses” was used by NOM (a leading opponent to same-sex marriage) in an anti-gay rally. Songwriter/performer and Indiana native John Mellencamp sent them a Cease and STFU. Thanks Johnny Cougar, you R.O.C.K.!

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