family traditions
Halloween Highlights: Creepy & Creative
Halloween is quickly becoming my favorite holiday. All the decorating, crafts, food and fun of Christmas crammed into a shorter period of time and without having to log all that extra church time. PLUS COSTUMES!
We had multiple events, all of which were an opportunity to put on my Designer Daddy hat (or horn, as it were) and we had a blast! Here are a few Halloween highlights…
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The first event was the Saturday before Halloween – a fundraiser/fair at JJ’s preschool, the “TODDLER BOOOOGIE!” For this occasion, JJ went as Batman. Yes, there were multiple costumes. You were expecting different from a super-hero obsessed toddler with two gay dads?
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Batman’s still figuring out the fit of his new costume.
Taking Up Residence on Twitter: Talking About LGBT Family Travel
If you’re an LGBT parent, you are statistically more likely to travel with your children than your straight counterparts. Okay, that statistic is based on no actual data, but on my well-traveled stint as one of two fathers of an adopted son. Yet even if your kids aren’t adopted, we gays LOVE to travel. Think having kids will slow us down? Are you kidding — and pass up a chance to sport matching outfits at Disneyworld, win over hearts and minds at a family reunion, or show our younguns the world in style?
So mark your calendars: Join me Wednesday, November 6 at 9pm EST, as I’ll be a panelist for a Twitter party all about LGBT family travel!
We’ll be chatting up these topics:
- Legal/practical aspects of travel, both interstate and internationally
- General tips for traveling with kids
- Extended stays out-of-state or internationally during the adoption process
- Hilarious and harrowing tales of tot-travel
Please come join the fun with all your questions and/or ideas to share!
And yes, THERE WILL BE PRIZES:
Register early at TravelingMom to win
one of two signed copies of Iron Chef/lesbian mom Cat Cora’s cookbook, Classics with a Twist: Fresh Takes on Favorite Dishes.
or
Grand Prize: a $250 Residence Inn gift card
This shindig is sponsored by Residence Inn, along with partners TravelingMom, Family Equality Council and Mombian.
Travel Itenerary:
Party time: 9pm – 10pm EST • Wednesday, November 6, 2013
How to join: Follow hashtags #TMOM and #RIFamily
To be eligible for prizes: RSVP at TravelingMom’s party page
Bringing JJ home – our first family trip.
Personal note: Okay, who in the world gets sentimental about being asked to participate in a Twitter party? This gay dad, that’s who. Residence Inn has played an important role in our family’s history. We flew cross-country in order to be there the night JJ was born; we spent two nights in the hospital with him, then were released into the wild. Yet we had to remain in Oregon until our ICPC cleared and we could cross state lines with our cute little contraband. So our first two weeks together as a family were spent in the Residence Inn Portland Downtown/RiverPlace.
It was also where the photos used on JJ’s birth announcement were taken, which were featured in Designer Daddy’s very first post.
And we stayed in the same hotel during our most recent, memorable trip back to visit JJ’s birthparents. So to Residence Inn, here is my sincere, personal note…
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[Disclaimer: I am being compensated by Residence Inn for this post and participation in the Twitter party. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. All opinions are mine and/or JJ's.]
Testicular Cancer and Embracing Your Nuts
When your last name is “Almond,” you learn at a young age to live with the “nut” jokes. From the constant jingle-singing* (“Almond Joy’s got nuts…”) to the crazy/nuts remarks, the cracks start early and get old fast. And ’round about puberty, anything and everything testicle-related gets thrown at you. But I got used to it, eventually able to celebrate my surname’s uniqueness. I even named my graphic design company Design Nut. You could say that I’ve come to embrace my nuts.
SO LET’S TALK ABOUT YOU EMBRACING YOUR NUTS.
I’m proud to be a member of the Testicular Cancer Foundation’s MAN UP MONDAY Blogging Team. I’m doing my part talking about nuts to spread the all-important message of Testicular Cancer self-examination and early detection.
I still remember the video we watched in Junior High health class of the guy feeling himself up in the shower. For a young gay kid, this was ALL KINDS OF AWKWARD. But it left an impression, and I checked myself regularly throughout my youth. I never had any cancer symptoms, but it made me more aware of my body and some of the risks I faced. And it’s not like it hurt or anything.
YOU’D BE NUTS NOT TO KNOW THESE FACTS:
• Testicular Cancer is the #1 cancer in young men ages 15 to 35.
• Testicular Cancer is highly survivable if detected early.
• Young men should be doing a monthly self-exam. (Which is a no-brainer, since they’re going to be down there anyway…)
WHAT CAN YOU LEARN TO EMBRACE YOUR NUTS?
• Stop by the Testicular Cancer Foundation website for more information on Testicular Cancer.
• Request a FREE shower card with self-exam instructions – it just might save a young man in your life!
• If you’re feeling a little awkward about this conversation, check out this nutty little video from some parents who feel the same way…
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PARENTS, YOU’D BE NUTS TO SEND THIS TO YOUR SONS.
Since we’re being honest, I’m pretty sure most teenage boys would think you’re off your nutter if you showed them this aticle. But you know what? They already think that about you, so what have you got to lose? NOTHING. What have they got to lose if you don’t? EVERYTHING. So nut up and text them this post during gym class. Play the video before family movie night. Sneak a shower card and an Almond Joy into their lunch. Get creative. Get silly. But get them the info. You’d be nuts not to.
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SEMI-RELEVANT EPILOGUE: Think your toddler is too young to talk testicles? The other day JJ and Papa were talking skeletons, as we’re getting close to Halloween. My son was sitting in the tub, pointing to different parts of his body (arm, hand, head) and asking “is there a bone in here?” Inevitably, he pointed to his wee bits. Papa let out long laugh, told him “No, but…” then decided that conversation could wait and splashed around to change the subject. All that to say, A) my son is awesome cute, and B) yup, he’s already talking testicles.
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*At least my last name wasn’t “Mounds”
Modern Family Love
WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!
We’ve been watching Modern Family since its debut in 2009, because A) It’s pretty darn funny and B) Mitch & Cam.
Papa and I have been compared to TV’s quintessential gay dads quite a few times over the years. (My trainer at the gym once told me “You’re like the big guy, because you’re so, um… funny!”) And their milestones have mirrored ours on many occasions. Like when Lily dropped the F-bomb. And when they thought she dropped the M-bomb. And when their adoption fell through.
The show’s fifth season premiere (“Suddenly, Last Summer”) began with a date stamp of “June 26, 2013,” then proceeded to weave the Supreme Court’s eventful decision of that day into a plot about Mitch and Cam each planning a surprise proposal to the other. Of course hilarity and calamity ensued, with both sets of romantic scenarios being botched. They ended up with a blowout in the Hollywood Hills, overlooking the light-filled city below and stars overhead. While replacing the tire, the couple reminisced about various mishaps and adventures they’d shared in their decade-long relationship. As they both knelt down (on one knee, natch) to attend to the tire, it dawned on them what each other had been plotting. They looked into each other’s eyes and simultaneously said, “Yes.”
And simultaneously, Papa and I both sniffled and said, “Awww.”
While the characters of Cam and Mitch are not without fault (they could certainly stand to be more affectionate), and stereotypes abound, I do appreciate the significance of this storyline on an Emmy-winning, Nielson chart-topping, major network show.
Yet what really made an impact was not just a gay couple proposing to one another, but the genuine portrayal of how this moment might play out between a couple that had been together for so long. A couple that would have gotten married much sooner (had it been legal), yet remained together and built their family their way. Not a lot of precedent for that on TV or in popular culture in general.
Like Mitch and Cam, Papa and I and many other same-sex couples have committed to one another for the long haul, forming our relationships and our families as best we knew how. Often without any support from government, church, family or society as a whole. These hindrances are swiftly falling away, and I couldn’t be more thrilled. And I’m thrilled for the new(er) couples that are meeting, falling in love, and able to get married just as God and Hollywood intended — while they’re still young and hot for each other.
So why is it significant that this TV couple has been together for so long? To the straight, married readers: can you imagine, having been with your partner for 10, 15, or 20 years, planning, hosting and paying for a wedding at this point in your life? Between work, paying bills, caring for a house and raising kids, just setting a date would be an achievement. Am I right?
So I really appreciated how Modern Family’s writers and producers showed this long-together couple — in the midst of a busy, chaotic, and deeply entrenched life — struggle and scheme to make this moment as historic and romantic as possible. And as would be in the real world, they had to take the time life gave them and make it their own, in their own way.
My partner/husband/Papa and I will have been together 17 years in October. (A common joke amongst gays might go, “That’s 34 in straight years!”) In the fall of 2003 we had a commitment ceremony in a lovely Unitarian church, nestled in some woods, surrounded by over 100 friends and family. It was the closest thing to a wedding available to same-sex couples at the time, and it was truly wonderful.
However, we are going to have a legal wedding (albeit much smaller this time around), come hell, high water, work, school schedules or extended family shenanigans. And why are we being wedding hoarders and having another ceremony? Because we can. And because we deserve to. And because the first time around we had family members who chose not to come, who are clamoring to be here this time around. And of course because of JJ. But mostly because we love each other. (And because we can.)
A Journey to Family
I haven’t written much about JJ’s adoption or his birthparents up to this point. We’ve always felt it best not to share too much of his story beyond what we’ve told him. However, several developments during our most recent visit moved me to venture into some of this undocumented territory.
Leading up to the trip, life was even more frenzied that usual. In a “normal” June, the middle of the month delivers the 1-2-3 punch of Pride, my birthday and Father’s Day; this year each was only four days apart. Our regularly packed work schedules were even more loaded down with pre-vacation deadlines and coordinating handoffs. We were scurrying to find a preschool for JJ, overwhelmed by the options. Two days before Father’s Day, my first article for The Huffington Post was published — a nice stress to have, but stress nonetheless. The following day, an interview Papa and I did for CBSNews.com went live. The article, while itself wonderful, quickly racked up large numbers of vile comments of the homophobic/hateful/crazy variety. I had to stop reading, distressed and fearful I’d put my family too far out there. For nearly 12 hours, I was really thrown off track. But Papa and my more experienced blogging buddies consoled and rallied behind me, respectively, and I got back to enjoying my Father’s Day and packing for our cross-country jaunt… which was the next morning.
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It had been two years since we’d last seen JJ’s birthparents, and he was now two years older, wiser and more inquisitive. We’d been using the word “adoption” around JJ for a while, but he had no memory of meeting his birthparents, and needed a refresher course. Shortly before the trip, I set up a slide show on the TV, and we watched as a family, pointing out his birthparents from our initial meeting (when JJ was still in birthmom’s tummy). We looked at images of our first days with him in the hospital, the subsequent time in a hotel awaiting adoption paperwork to clear, and our first weeks at home. He’d seen these many times before, but this time we mixed in photos of his birthparents, explaining where they fit into his story.
We also reintroduced JJ to his brother, showing him pictures of their previous meetings. JJ’s biological brother (who I’ll call “BB”) is 364 days his elder. They’d met twice before, but it was all new to him. “Dat my brudder?!?” he asked with amazement. It certainly raised his level of excitement for our excursion, which I wasn’t sure was possible. And yeah, it added to my already heaping pile of worry.
DDQ&A: Evan Spiridellis
Like most of the world, I was first introduced to the work of Evan Spiridellis (the designer half of the humor site, JibJab) through the still-hilarious lampoon of the 2004 presidential election, “This Land.” In 2011, he and brother Gregg launched StoryBots, an awesome online land of apps, videos, books and activities for kids (and parents). As a longtime fan, I was downright giddy Evan agreed to a DDQ&A!
Q&A with designer dad Evan Spiridellis
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Tell me briefly about your design/illustration career.
My brother and I started JibJab back in 1999. Early on we supported the studio by doing service work for clients like Disney, Scholastic, Kraft and Sony — but the goal was always to build a new kind of entertainment company. So we would take on enough client work to pay the rent and our team, then we would turn down commercial projects until the coffers ran dangerously low. Nowadays, JibJab supports itself by selling our products directly to our audience without commercial interference. We much prefer this approach 
more here >>
Father’s Day Proud Papa Gallery of Greatness
Some of the best things about being a child are the boundless energy, unbridled imagination and a future filled with endless possibilities. The best thing about a child’s art is that it contains elements of all these things… and that every work is a masterpiece.
In honor of Father’s Day, I asked my dad friends to submit their kids’ artwork. Whether it was something recent, something old, or commissioned specifically for this collection, the only requirement was that the papas be proud of it. What I received was an avalanche of awesomeness. Drawings. paintings and sculpture bursting with energy, imagination and endless possibilities. And lots and lots of color. If you know me and my design work, you won’t be surprised if I “borrow” a color palette or two for future projects.
Curating this collection was no small feat, and after considering several options, I chose to group them by subject matter. This creates a nice mix of age, gender and medium in each batch. I realize there are a lot of pieces here, and that most of you probably get bored at art galleries (I know I do)… but please look through the entire gallery. This is spectacular work with some very hilarious, touching — and even rage-filled — back stories.
So welcome to the inaugural* FATHER’S DAY PROUD PAPA GALLERY OF GREATNESS (brought to you by Starbucks). Enjoy the exhibit, and please touch the artwork — it’s even more awesome zoomed in!
Artwork credits key:
Title of work
medium
Artist name, age
Father of artist (links to their website/blog)
Artist’s (or artist’s dad’s) description
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HANDS + FEET
Hola Hand
pencil, crayon on paper
JJ, 3.5
Brent Almond
While he clearly got some help writing “Hola,” the hand trace and vibrant, Latino colors are all him. Definitely going to nick this palette for my next logo project…
Like Designer Daddy, Like Son
Every parent cherishes the milestones in their child’s development. First step, first word, first tooth, first poop on the potty. These are all documented and hold a special place in my memory. Yet JJ did something recently that had my heart leaping with pride and joy…
“Untitled” by JJ, May 2013, age 3-1/2
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“Wow, your kid’s a regular Rembrandt,” you’re probably thinking, sarcastically. Firstly, he’s three and-a-half, so shut it, Smartass McJudgeypants. more here >>
My Two Daddies (Can Beat Up Your One) – The Single!
This post has been a long time in the making, but I’m super stoked to finally introduce “My Two Daddies (Can Beat Up Your One)” — the single, the finished product, the labor of love. And oh yeah, the fundraiser…
Y’see, I had such a blast writing, performing and recording this — yet I know it’s not going Platinum or winning any Grammies (CMA award, maybe?). It’s pretty much a vanity project wrapped in a love letter to my son (with a smidge of me working through my insecurities as a father). But I figured while I’m sharing it with the universe, I’d try to raise some money for a good cause. And I’ve found no better cause that supports other families with Two Daddies (or Two Mommies) than Family Equality Council.
But before I prattle on too much about my own benevolence… THE SONG!
I originally wrote the lyrics as part of a copywriting workshop. I was attending a design conference in the Texas hill country, and our assignment was to write a country song using our own life as the subject. JJ was about 18 months old at the time, and already I was pondering worrying what trials he might face as the adopted son of two gay men. I pictured our little fella getting picked on by some mustachioed, homophobic toddler (I know, my imagination runneth over) and in response, JJ puffs out his chest, chubby fists on his be-daipered hips, the theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly playing in the background…
…and thus was born “My Two Daddies” — the mock battle cry of a picked-on kid who’s unequivocally proud of who he is, where he comes from, and that he’s dang lucky to have “the two best daddies that you’ve ever seen.”
Click to hear a snippet
NOW ABOUT THAT FUNDRAISING BIT…
All the profits from song sales will go to Family Equality Council, so please mosey over to iTunes or Amazon and pony up your 99 cents. Our family (and others like ours) sure appreciates your contribution!
And if you’re feeling a might more generous, please consider making a donation directly to my fundraising page at Family Equality Council, where I’ll be tracking donations made from song sales as well as what’s contributed on the fundraising page. Since the month of June includes both Father’s Day and LGBT Pride celebrations (for many cities/states), my goal is to raise $500 by the end of the month. But I’d be pleased as punch to raise and/or extend that… more here >>
My Baby’s First…
If you’re a normal parent (or just otherwise normal) you probably finished this post’s title with the word “word.” Or if you’re the motivated type, the word “step.” Perhaps “tooth,” for the orally fixated. But it takes a special breed of parent to remember their child’s first logo.
I’ve met a lot of other dads in recent months, thanks largely in part to a Facebook group of Dad Bloggers. Among them are several sports nuts, a battalion of Star Wars fanatics, a few Lego freaks — all of which are hoping to pass their passions on to their offspring. While there’s definitely some overlap with many of the other dads, my love and appreciation of design — and where it mashes up with marketing and pop culture — is tops on my list.
From the onset of JJ’s visual development, I’ve kept a mental list (oh alright, an actual list) of the logos and brands he’s recognized on his own. Had he the memory capacity or verbal skills at the time, he might recall differently… but I’m pretty sure THIS is the first brand my kiddo knew:
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If I have to explain the significance of the above logo and the role it’s played in my life these last three or so years, you’ve clearly never been or met a new parent.
