MY 2 DADS
JJ has 2 daddies. Let the wackiness ensue.
Happy Birthday Papa!
I got to play full-on SAHD the other day, so took the opportunity to initiate a craft project with JJ. I see all these amazing books, blogs and segments on TV on how to make incredible crafts with your kids and am genuinely intimidated. How will I find the time to come up with ideas? What if JJ’s not into drawing or art or creative stuff? What good will I be to him as a dad?!?
But then I remember he’s still just two, and his favorite things to do still include making messes, touching everything, and destroying stuff. So while he’s limited on how much he can actually create, we’ve got a few more good years of dad/son craft-bonding ahead of us.
The chosen project was to make a birthday card for Papa. Have you ever tried to find a birthday card (or any card for that matter) for a “Papa”? I’ve come across a couple of Father’s Day cards (some of which were for grandfathers) but generally the Papas of the world get the shaft when it comes to cards, books, TV shows, etc. So we had to represent.
I knew I needed to keep it simple for JJ, so it was fun (and challenging) enough to just let him go to town scrawling wildly on colored construction paper with his jumbo Crayons and markers. I then cut them out, punched a bunch of star-shaped holes in them, and strung it up like a mobile. (Bonus: this serves as a fun spelling tool!)
Papa was very pleased, so I’m hoping this will become an annual tradition – with JJ getting more and more involved, and me moving into a more art directorial position. And I guess eventually just the guy who buys the stuff and cleans up.
The artist and his handiwork
MacDaddy 2.0
I’ve spent 15 years gently pushing the Apple Agenda and iLiving by example, and it’s finally bore fruit… Papa has seen the light and purchased his first Mac! STEVE BE PRAISED!
No, we’re not Hasidic Jews
Yes, we got asked if we were Hasidic Jews last night by an annoying (and drunk, maybe?) passerby as we were heading to our neighborhood Halloween block party. We also got asked if we were some sort of Two and a Half Men thing. The cutest was overhearing a little girl behind us asking her mom if we were related. Unfortunately her mom said, “I think they’re just friends.”
I guess it would have been clearer had we ALL been wearing not only tuxes and matching top hats and red bowties, but also beaks and giant yellow feet. Maybe I’ll have more time to be crafty next year, but I doubt it. JJ’s birthday is next week, and I can only fit in so much craftiness in such a short span of time. Hey, I did add the red ribbons to our grownup hats.
So in case it wasn’t clear, we’re penguins. Inspired (partially) by one of our favorite family books, And Tango Makes Three. This equally adorable and controversial book is about two (real) male penguins in the Central Park Zoo who hatched and raised a baby penguin together. It’s a must for any same-sex parent household, as well as for any family with a kid who loves penguins (so yeah, all of them). There was also a funny episode of Parks and Recreation spoofing/celebrating the whole “Gay Penguins” phenomenon.
But mostly we were inspired by how awesomely cute JJ is in a penguin costume. And luckily he didn’t seem to mind wearing it.
You can't hear him, but he's saying (and doing) "Waddle, waddle, waddle!"
So what did your kiddos (or you) dress as for Halloween? Please share photos — would love to see ‘em! And to all you seasoned parents out there, I’m also curious how long your kids let you choose their costume. I know it won’t be long before JJ makes the jump from happily dressing up in whatever cutesy animal suit Daddy picks out to demanding to be Jango Fett, Optimus Prime, or -shudder- a Wiggle.
Happily Ever Adopted (The Tale of Two Fairy Dads)
It’s coming up on JJ’s second birthday, and subsequently this blog’s first. My son (as well as my profession, but mainly my son) was the inspiration to start Designer Daddy. Yet due to JJ being adopted, I’ve been reluctant to share too much personal stuff — not only to protect our and the birthparents’ privacy, but also to protect JJ’s story. I want to be able to tell it to him first, when he’s ready to hear it, and in a manner his Papa and I think it should be told.
Because of this, I’ve not bared my soul as much as other parent bloggers. And I’m a little jealous of that. My best writing comes from my heart and my gut, not from my head (or my wit, or design sensibilities) so I feel like I’m not sharing the full story. Because I’m not.
But a couple of things pushed my buttons recently that I need to get off my chest.
The first was watching the pilot episode of ABC’s Once Upon A Time.
I’d seen mixed reviews, so my expectations were low and I didn’t get around to it until several days after it premiered. (DVR is one of Daddys’s favorite inventions) Overall it was a decent show, but my beef is with its not-so-happily ever after portrayal of adoption.
Why Bert & Ernie Shouldn’t Get Gay Married
Yesterday the news cycle was peppered with the anecdotal silliness of a petition started to let Bert and Ernie get married. Today’s response is brought to you by the letters A through C.
A: I of course wholeheartedly agree with the idea of having LGBT characters / same-sex couples represented on Sesame Street. I’ve been watching children’s television pretty much daily for the last year, and I’ve only seen one fleeting reference to two dad or two mom families anywhere. (The video below runs occasionally on Nick Jr. The family in question shows up at the 1:11 mark.)
The thing is, non-platonic relationships are extremely rare among Sesame Street’s furry folk. True, Kermit has had a decades-long tumultuous affair with Miss Piggy, but that’s only been in the context of The Muppet Show. The characters on Sesame Street, other than (kind of) having a gender, don’t even really have specific ethnicity. Except for The Count, who I guess is Transylvanian.
more here >>
Daddy, Papa, and Me
Last December I was searching for papa-centric gifts to get JJ’s Papa for Christmas, and let me tell you, it was slim pickings. This is unfortunate as a lot of two dad families go by the “daddy/papa” monikers. In addition to the papa stuff being few and far between, lots of it was for grandfathers. And while we may not be spring chickens, we ain’t visiting Grandpa Land anytime soon. However, I did manage to find a few fun things, including a charming book about animal babies and their fathers called “Papa Papa”, as well as this sassy “Who’s Your Papa?” tee shirt…
But the best by far was the book “Daddy, Papa, and Me” which has since become one of our favorite books to read to JJ. It’s a very straightforward, no-nonsense, non-preachy, day-in-the-life story of a child (cleverly illustrated so as not to be gender-specific) and his/her two fathers. It starts off with the child asking “Who wants to play with me today?,” followed with spread after spread depicting things Daddy and Papa does with the realistically energetic toddler. Our favorite is this one, that most accurately portrays our family’s greatest strengths, with Daddy helping to “paint the sky” and Papa helping to bake a pie (our Papa is Italian, and a cook among cooks).
After a slew of other activities (throwing a ball, having a tea party, etc.) the book ends with a sentiment any parent of a toddler can relate to, regardless of the family’s makeup…
What appeals most to me about the book is that it doesn’t try to make a case for this family, or celebrate that it’s “different.” There are plenty of other books for that. What it does celebrate is the joy of a child spending time with his parents — learning, playing, and experiencing life.
For you two mother families, “Mommy, Mama, and Me” is also available from the same author.
Father’s Day Gift List!
This post was originally written for The New Gay (hence the gay dad slant). But I think you’ll find you can substitute the word “designer” for the word “gay” in most of these gift ideas. Hey, good taste is good taste!
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The New Gay Dad
Just like there’s every kind of gay, there’s every kind of gay dad. Unfortunately, every group also has its stereotypes. And thanks to Modern Family, every two-father family apparently consists of a couple of well-off suburbanites (one queeny, one slightly less so) and an adorably exotic child, adopted from a distant land. You think I’m joking? We have at least two friends who refer to our son as Lily. Mainly because they can’t remember his name, (it’s Jon) but still…
Certainly there are worse stereotypes to be had, but with Father’s Day coming up, I felt it was my duty to represent a wider array of gay daddies, so that not all of us end up with the same (high-end and fashion-forward) necktie.
For the Leather Daddy
The chaps and harnesses may be gathering dust, but leather-lovers can still look studly in these subtle — but still butch — assortment of belts. Suitable for trips to the pediatrician or a (rare) night on the town.
Burberry, $495 Bluefly, $54 Nieman Marcus, $128 FCUK, $38
For the Foodie Father
Every Dad’s Day gift list has to include a grill, so why not show up the breeders with a tasty, tricked-out O-Grill 3000? This James Bond-sounding propane grill is compact, has a push-button igniter, and comes in six delicious colors. Pair it with an All-Clad BBQ tool set, and Dads will be serving it with style.
O-Grill 3000, $172.80 All-Clad BBQ Tool Set, $119.95
For the Musical Daddy
Give your fave gay dads a handsome (and high-quality) way to drown out Dora, Elmo, and the goddamn Wiggles with a set of headphones or earplugs from Urbanears. Particularly nifty are the Bagis earplugs, as the earpieces snap together around your neck for when the kiddo needs to be heard. Four different models. Thirteen fabulous colors. Musical genius.
Available at Urbanears or Amazon, $40-$60
Color me PC
Speaking of crayons, JJ and I took a trip to Michael’s the other day to buy some chalk for that mural I’m supposed to be painting on his wall (hey, at least it’s some progress…) and came across these:
Multicultural Crayons — good for Crayola! It’s been a while since I’ve purchased a box of crayons, so I’m not sure how long this ’round-the-world skin-tone set has been for sale. But the individual colors — black, sepia, peach, apricot, white, tan, mahogany and burnt sienna — have been around a while, mixed in with the general population of colors. I’d like to think non-”Peach” kids would enjoy crayons closer to their skin-tone, and the “Peach” kids would become more well-rounded in their coloring sessions.
My 2 Daddies (Can Beat Up Your 1)
One of the workshops I attended at Design Ranch included one with copywriter extraordinaire, Wayne Geyer (who, come to find out, also happens to have been a high school classmate for 2 weeks). I chose JJ as my inspiration, and what he might be saying ’bout Daddy and Papa if he could sing Country songs… (I’m thinking this will end up being a tee shirt as well)
My 2 Daddies (Can Beat Up Your 1)
Ever since I was a boy
‘Bout 2 or 3 months ago
People stop and stare at me
Everywhere I go
It’s not because my ears are big
Or that my skin is green
It’s cuz I got the 2 best Daddies
That you’ve ever seen
Y’see most kids got a mom and dad
And that’s just fine and dandy
But having me 2 awesome Dads
Comes in pretty handy
I got the nicest clothes in school
And I’ve been to Paris, France
So all those kids with regular folks
Well, they don’t stand a chance
Chorus:
You better think twice before pickin’ on me
And thinking we’re not a real family
I’m the luckiest boy and a fortunate son
My 2 Daddies can beat up your 1
I got 1 Dad to teach me ball
And take me fishin’ in the lake
I got another Dad who bakes a pie
Better’n Martha makes
You say your Daddy’s big and strong
And that he’s six foot four
But you put my 2 Dads together
And they’re about six foot more
Chorus:
You better think twice before pickin’ on me
And thinking we’re not a real family
I’m the luckiest boy and a fortunate son
My 2 Daddies can beat up your 1
Bridge:
Don’t you worry, don’t you tease
Just keep your feathers and tar
I hope I grow up to be half the man
My 2 Daddies are
Now some folks may get fretful
Or not understand my life
But my parents love each other
There just ain’t no wife
I never did get breast-fed
And no one sits down to pee
We all wear the pants in our house
And we’re as happy as can be
Chorus:
You better think twice before pickin’ on me
And thinking we’re not a real family
I’m the luckiest boy and a fortunate son
My 2 Daddies can beat up your 1
© 2011 Brent M. Almond
Cutest. Books. Ever.
Click to enjoy gigantic cuteness
These are — hands down — the cutest books ever. Ever. EVER.
In case I’m not making my point clearly, let me explain…
I happened upon “In My Pond” on one of our many pre-JJ shopping sprees. I was immediately smitten by the wonderful illustration style. I was further smitten by the adorable die cut holes getting smaller with each page, revealing different scenes and all the while featuring a delightful felt fish that leads you through the story.
You can imagine my surprise (I think there was squealing involved) when I got home and realized the little felt fish WAS A FINGER PUPPET. You put your finger through a hole in the back and wiggle the little goldfish while reading the book, turning the page with your other hand.* Smittenest.