Where Do Gay Dads Fit into ‘Amazon Mom’?

March 5, 2015 | By Brent Almond | DAD STUFF

#AmazonFamilyUS - Amazon Family Gay Dads

Everyone knows that The Gays love to shop. OK, maybe not all gays, but certainly a healthy percentage do. Stereotypes carry a measure of truth, after all.

Gay dads are no different. We still spend a lot of money on clothes, appliances and travel, it’s just that those clothes are now Onesies, the appliances are now Diaper Genies, and the travel is now to Disney World.

And just like the rest of the modern world, we do a ton of shopping on Amazon.

I’ve long been a subscriber to Amazon Prime, their frequent-shopper discount program. Then when Papa and I started stocking up for impending parenthood, Amazon began sending us emails and peppering us with ads about their family-focused program, Amazon Mom.

Being a two-dad family, it was a little annoying to see yet one more thing that made us feel invisible. However, we were still jumping through hoops to complete our adoption, and advocating in our home state to legalize same-sex marriage. We had more important battles to wage.

TIME FOR CHANGE

Then a few years ago a stay-at-home dad named Jeffrey Harrington started a Change.org petition to get Amazon Mom changed to Amazon Family. It turns out that the exact same program that offers sweet deals on formula and diapers is already called Amazon Family in countries like Canada, the UK, Germany, Austria, France, and Japan.

Is the U.S. really that backward that Amazon couldn’t turn a profit with a program that’s more inclusive and progressive? Naming it Amazon Family supports the idea that parents are the ones that change, feed, nurture, shelter, and shop for their children — not only moms. Naming it Amazon Family reflects that the gender imbalance in parenting is slowly but surely evening out. And it reflects that not all families even have a mom.

WHY NOW?

The petition was started a while ago, so why the big fuss now? Because my friend Oren Miller — a fellow dad blogger, an avid supporter of this cause, and a deeply committed straight allydied last week after a grueling battle with cancer. He was a stay-at-home father of two young children, and was a mere 42 years old.

So I’m taking up his cause, and making it my own. And you should, too.

Amazon usually knows better. They already have substantial non-discrimination policies in place, and offer full benefits for same-sex partners of their employees, scoring a 90 on the HRC Corporate Equality Index. Let’s remind them of their already strong track record.

Changing Amazon Mom to Amazon Family may just be about a word, but words mean something. Most of us in the LGBT community have been called words that meant something. As a (now) legally married man and the adoptive father of a 5-year-old boy, words mean something. Let’s make this mean something, too.

TAKE ACTION!

Since Oren’s death, the petition has added nearly 2,000 signatures, and the hash tag #AmazonFamilyUS is trending on Twitter.

Please add your name to the petition, add your voice on Twitter and other social media, and help get Amazon’s attention so we can all get back to shopping — as one big, happy, gay family.

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29 responses to “Where Do Gay Dads Fit into ‘Amazon Mom’?”

  1. When it comes to parenting, I don’t care what your race, gender, status, etc. is, we’re all parents. Great post, Brent, I, along with thousands of others are behind you (not like that!) 100%! Lets keep this trending until Amazon makes the obvious choice!

    • Brent Almond says:

      Thanks RC! For the support and the bad joke! 😉
      Brent

      • I have a feeling, Paul, that you’re still missing the point. Mainly, because, you’re missing the point. Maybe try reading through the post and comments again to see if you understand better. Or, just go back to your weblog and work on more scenarios with children eating lunch.

        • It’s Mr. Rhodes to you. I first became aware of this campaign in the Huffington Post’s section on “gay marriage”. If this campaign is just about including dads and NOT about what is now called “marriage equality” and its premise of asexual parenthood, then why was this article posted in that section?

          I have nothing against the word “family”, but this petition is not being spearhead by a man who is all for “marriage equality” a movement that wants to use the inclusiveness of “family” to neuter it.

        • PLEASE DELETE THE COMMENT ABOVE WITH THE TYPO.

          It’s Mr. Rhodes to you. I first became aware of this campaign in the Huffington Post’s section on “gay marriage”. If this campaign is just about including dads and NOT about what is now called “marriage equality” and its premise of asexual parenthood, then why was this article posted in that section?

          I have nothing against the word “family”, but this petition is NOW being spearhead by a man who is all for “marriage equality” a movement that wants to use the inclusiveness of “family” to neuter it.

        • PLEASE DELETE THE TWO COMMENTS ABOVE WITH THE TYPOS.

          It’s Mr. Rhodes to you. I first became aware of this campaign in the Huffington Post’s section on “gay marriage”. If this campaign is just about including dads and NOT about what is now called “marriage equality” and its premise of asexual parenthood, then why was this article posted in that section?

          I have nothing against the word “family”, but this petition is NOW being spearheaded by a man who is all for “marriage equality” a movement that wants to use the inclusiveness of “family” to neuter it.

  2. Grade school in the not so distant future:

    Tommy: (opening his lunchbox) Oh, yes. Pudding. Chocolate Pudding! I’ve got the coolest mom.

    Sarah: What did you just say?

    Tommy: I got some chocolate pudding. You want some?

    Sarah: Not that. You said something else.

    Tommy: Oh, yeah. My mom made it for me.

    Sarah: You think you’re better than me because you have a female parent?

    Tommy: Uh?

    Sarah: My parent A and parent 1 are both males. But do I go around and say that I am superior because I have two male parents and you have only one?

    Tommy: (blank stare)

    Sarah: Well, do I?

    Tommy: Er, I guess not.

    Sarah: So, why do you have rub it in my face that I don’t have a female parent?

    Tommy: You’re not getting any of my pudding. (Gets up to move to another table)

    Sarah: Oh, Teacher Thistlethwaite! Teacher Thistlethwaite:

    Thistlethwaite: (walking up to Sarah’s table) What is it, Sarah?

    Sarah: Tommy said a heterosexist word.

    Thistlethwaite: Stop right there, Tommy. (Tommy freezes, has a nervous look on his face). Sarah, what did it say?

    Sarah: It used the M-Word. It said, “I have the coolest M.”

    Thistlethwaite: Is this true, Tommy?

    Tommy: I was just happy that she…

    Thistlethwaite: What did we teach you about that pronoun?

    Tommy: We should not use it?

    Thistlethwaite: Because?

    Tommy: You said so?

    Thistlethwaite: Sarah, help it out.

    Sarah: “She” is a gendered pronoun and as such was used to indoctrinate people into accepting the oppressive, theocratic heteronormative regime as just and normal when in reality it was unjust and the imposition of heterosexist fetishism and fascism.

    Thistlethwaite: Sarah, very, very good! Now, Tommy, what did Sarah just say?

    Tommy: I don’t know. May I just eat my pudding now, please?

    Thistlethwaite: No. Give me your lunchbox. Hand it over! (Pulls Tommy’s Lunchbox out of his hands after a struggle). You will sit here and write what Sarah just said one hundred times. And if you don’t have it done by the end of school, then you will be kept after school until you do. Is that clear?

    Tommy: Yes, Teacher Thistlethwaite.

    Sarah: But what about its use of the M-Word? It said it. I heard it say the M word, Teacher Thistlethwaite. You can’t let it get away with that and unbend the arc of Justice.

    Thistlethwaite: You are quite right, Sarah. Tommy, come with me to the principal’s office. While you write Sarah’s excellent summary of the dangers of gendered pronoun, you will wash your mouth out with soap. Come along now, Tommy.

    Tommy: Yes, Teacher Thistlethwaite.

    Sarah: Oh, oh, Teacher Thistlethwaite, may I have Tommy’s pudding?

    Thistlethwaite: Oh, yes, of course, dear child. (gives Sarah Tommy’s Lunchbox)

    • Brent Almond says:

      I really hope you cut and pasted that from some other site you were trolling — because I’d hate for you to go to so much trouble to completely miss the point.

    • Marc says:

      wow just wow! And your role of the teacher is just as archaic as Amazon Mon

    • John says:

      That was honestly the dumbest thing I have ever read. I will never get that minute of my life back. You should stop writing. Really. That was very bad, and you should feel bad for taking the time to put all those words in that specific order. Shame on you. Actually no, shame on all of us. Somehow, in some small way, I feel like we all are a tiny bit complicit in your existence. The world is a more stupider place because you took the time to write that comment.

      • Oh, good, now you have some clue as to how very stupid I think this whole clamor for “marriage equality” is and its attendant project to make any mention of differences between mothers and fathers “politically incorrect” or taboo.

  3. Well, I did cut and paste but from my own weblog. I wrote the above which, although it does not deal with Amazon.com, does, I would argue, depict the logical consequences of the underlying premise of your plaint against Amazon.com, namely the premise that sex of parents does not matter and to say otherwise is vile, homophobic bigotry.

    • Brent Almond says:

      I’m not saying that the sex of parents doesn’t matter (although it doesn’t). What I’m saying is that fathers are just as much parents as moms, and if Amazon is going to offer a parent-related discount program, it should be named as such — like in the other countries where they offer it.

      And in my own case (and in the case of other families like mine) the parents are both fathers, and the name should be inclusive of that.

      I’m also not saying that Amazon is being homophobic, just not being as inclusive as they could be.

  4. In the name of inclusiveness, should breast-pumps be marketed to parents and not just mothers as well?

    • Jack says:

      The Paul Rhodes breastfeeding breastfeeding pump is guaranteed to suck and or be sucked upon by all who are interested and or uncertain about who, what, why and how.

      Wait, you might have to delete this because I misquoted misquoting myself.

      Now where am I and what the hell am I doing…here.

  5. Daddy Files says:

    What woefully misinformed people like Paul don’t understand is this has nothing to do with the differences between men and women/mothers and fathers. It’s about inclusion as parents. The service is for parents. It’s named “Amazon Family” in every other country. So why wouldn’t you want brand continuity, recognition, and added accuracy? And as a bonus, you bring your company up to date with a progressive attitude toward dads.

    But please don’t call others stupid while making asinine comments about breastfeeding-restaurants pumps for men.

  6. It is Mr. Rhodes to you, sir.

    I am really glad that you think the idea of marketing breast-pumps to men is silly. It’s silly precisely because men do not breast feed, but that has not stopped a very silly judge from declaring otherwise in a recent sex-discrimination case.

    The progressive attitude towards dads, of which you speak, is that they are no different from moms, premised upon the absurd notion that the sex of parents does not matter. If this project has little or nothing to do with promoting asexual parenthood and more to do with wanting to make Fathers feel important, then why not petition Amazon to set up an Amazon Father?

    • Marc says:

      Dr MISTER RODES,

      Are you really that arrogant that you don’t see the issue at hand. The title mom excludes a lot of family types where moms aren’t in the picture. This is a small piece of the issue from the point of view of a father that happens to be gay.

      All from you Mister RODES should be addressed to Mr. Smarty Pants

  7. Paul S. Rhodes says:

    And, by the way, “family” is not all that inclusive, either. It excludes people who may be tasked with buying stuff for kids but are not part of the kids’ families, such as governesses, nannies, and au pairs.

    And where does this campaign end? With Amazon, or do you want to campaign against the national celebration of Mothers’ Day because it leaves out families without Mothers and against Fathers’ Day because it rubs families without Fathers the wrong way? Should we all ignore those days and focus on Parents’ Day instead because it is more inclusive?

  8. Daddy Files says:

    Oh Paulie. You are hopeless.

    The progressive attitude toward dads has nothing to do with being the same as moms. In fact, it’s a celebration and recognition that dads do things differently than moms, and why that’s a good thing. But where we’re similar is that we’re both parents. So why on Earth would Amazon set up Amazon Father to sell the same exact products as Amazon Mother? That is asinine, not to mention unnervingly close to “separate but equal.” If you call the thing Amazon Family, problem solved. Both markets addressed. The right thing is done.

    • Marc says:

      Excuse me Sir but are you addressing Paul or Mister Rhodes?

      Mister Rhodes would still like those comment up yonder deleted…you know the ones with the typos.

      The funny thing is all of those titles mentioned by señor Rhodes are so loved they are considered family members and I concur the gentleman Mr. Paul is one tough egg to crack

  9. I think my website says it all, JERKSS.

  10. Dave Lesser says:

    Can someone PLEASE DELETE THE COMMENT ABOVE WITH THE TYPO. Why won’t anyone delete the comments with typos? It’s silly. You’re pretending misspelled words are no different than words spelled correctly. It’s exactly this type of “grammar equality” that neuters the completely relevant points made by Mr. Rhodes. That’s right, MR. RHODES. Show him the same respect he has shown all of you. He cares about family. Just not YOUR family.

  11. […] is important. As a parent and as a gay man, I know this firsthand on a couple of levels, ” blogger Brent Almond of Maryland, a close family friend of Miller’s, told City Dads Group in an online interview. […]

  12. […] Since the service is open to all people — regardless of whether they are female, male or refused service in the state of Indiana — the online protesters wanted the name changed to “Amazon Family.” For reasons that […]

  13. […] is important. As a parent and as a gay man, I know this firsthand on a couple of levels, ” blogger Brent Almond of Maryland, a close family friend of Miller’s, told City Dads Group in an online interview. […]

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