I grew up the son and grandson of Baptist ministers — men not historically well-versed in the art of scented body sprays. While I learned many valuable lessons from my father, his knowledge of man fragrances was not something he passed down to me. I recall in 9th grade wondering why my dad’s new aftershave smelled so familiar. Upon investigating his medicine cabinet, I discovered he was slathering himself with Charlie every morning. The smell was familiar because my most recent (and much more experienced) girlfriend had worn it. I was horrified. Disgusted. Confused. Now I understood why every time my dad walked by I had flashbacks of being cornered in the church kitchen during Vacation Bible School. The combined memories of her ample bosom and the cloying amounts of perfume she wore still causes me to gasp for air.
Thus, I was left to learn how to “Scent Responsibly” on my own, experimenting with all manner of colognes and deodorants, with varying degrees of success. But my son will never have to endure what I went through. Nor will any other young man, ever. Thanks to Old Spice and their line of Re-Fresh Body Sprays.
Originally launched in January with the viral video “Mom Song,” Old Spice introduces new scents and products via the fatherly response, “Dad Song.” Check out this new masterpiece below…
As you can see, “Dad Song” illustrates in song (weird, weird song) the contrast between the long-held notions that moms want their boys to never leave home, while dads can’t wait for them to grow up and get out. I was the oldest of 4 boys, yet I found the portrayals in the ad did not mirror my experience. While both my parents were understandably forlorn when their eldest (and best) flew the coop, the couldn’t wait for the other three to pack it up and move on with their lives. I guess I’m just special that way.
In any event, your dear old Designer Daddy and his new best friends at Old Spice have got a mountain of manly merch to stuff the stocking of every man in your life. Poor phrasing aside, every man needs to smell good and this is some seriously bounteous booty.
OLD SPICE HOLIDAY SMELLCOME TO MANHOOD KIT:
• Old Spice Re-fresh Body Spray – The gift that keeps on giving, one spray at a time.
• Old Spice T-Shirt – The manliest chest tattoo on the planet without the regret when you turn 60.
• Old Spice Branded Earbuds – Silence Dad’s singing (or bad jokes) in the car. You’re welcome.
• Bear Paws Meat Tool – Cutlery your family will be impressed with when you’re given the reins to carve the holiday bird.
• Duct Tape – Fix anything on the planet, except holiday lights, where only half the strand works.
• Art of Manliness Book – Full of wisdom and New Year’s Resolutions.
• “Scent Responsibly” Instructions – Overspraying is for amateurs. Thanks to Old Spice Re-fresh technology, you can smell like a man and not a middle school locker room.
• Smellcome to Manhood Certificate – A made-up diploma for the inside of your locker or your LinkedIn profile.
This one’s a quickie! Contest ends at midnight (EST) this Wednesday, Dec. 17. Enter the contest widget below – multiple ways to enter!
Even if you don’t win this awesome prize pack, you’re still a winner.
Why? Because Old Spice has got you covered with great-smelling deals at coupons.com. And because they have a smorgasbord of scents and products, including Danger Zone, Bearglove, Swagger, and the spanking-new Old Spice Timber — the best way to get that lumberjacky smell without working at a local tree lot.
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Can’t get enough Old Spice in your life? Follow them on all their social media channels for the best smelling content on the web. Tell ’em Designer Daddy scent you. 😉
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