I’m fat. Need help.

July 31, 2013 | By Brent Almond | LESSONS LEARNED

“I’m fat. Need help.”

That was my plea — in shortened form (the TL;DR*) — to the group of dad bloggers I chat with on Facebook.

News to no one, I’ve been overweight for a very long time. I’ve been struggling with my weight since college, and while I’ve seen my share of successes, I’m in the running with Lindsay Lohan for numbers of relapses. And since becoming a father, I just haven’t found the time/energy/gumption to get off my ass and live healthier again.

So I took some time  to think about what motivates me. Yes, I want to live a long, happy life. I want to be around for (and able to keep up with) my son as long as possible. I want to be fit and frisky for Papa for decades to come. And yes, when I’m in the midst of it, I actually enjoy exercising and eating what’s best for me.

But when I got brutally honest with myself, I realized that FAME AND GLORY are what put a spring in my step and a low-fat yogurt in my mouth.

The thrill of walking into chorus rehearsal and having 200 gay men tell me how great I look. Buying new clothes that express my colorful Designer Daddy style without making me look like an Easter Parade float. Posting uncropped photos of myself on Facebook. That is the kind of attention I crave. The kind that makes me feel warm and fuzzy and glad to be alive. And the kind that keeps me living large, but not too.

I recently registered for my very first dad blogger conference. (Yes, it’s a thing) It’s  in New Orleans in January, and I’ll be meeting many of my bloggery friends in person for the first time. Then I had a Eureka! moment — I’d set a goal of losing weight in time for the conference!

Yet there’s a second part to my opening statement. “Need help.” In the past I’ve done Weight Watchers and weight loss programs at a local medical center, relied on trainers and apps, read diet books and watched fitness videos. While those were all effective at one time, I need something a bit more down-to-earth and in my face. What better than a bunch of other self-involved, overweight blogging dads?

I floated the idea to the group, and what do you know? There’s a lot of out-of-shape dad bloggers out there! Not sure if it’s the being a dad or being a blogger that’s gotten us all so chunky, but out of the 300+ members of our group, 26 signed up for our little friendly(ish) competition. As the group was discussing ways of humiliating the “losers,” someone mentioned doing the Truffle Shuffle. Again, another Eureka! moment hit me, and I came up with an name for our contest: Chuck the Chunk: On the Road to Dad 2.0 Summit 2014. Quite a mouthful, no?


So… we’ve got a name (and a nifty logo, by yours truly), a deadline, a group of guys, and even a fitness expert in our group to share free advice and humiliating photos of his abs. Did I mention that the founder of Dad 2.0 is also in our group? Yup. And he’s working on drumming up some interest from sponsors — so there may even be ACTUAL fame and glory. Or at least prizes. I’ll keep you posted.

Another BIG part of motivating myself is to document my progress here. So please come back often for updates, successes, failures, and by golly — some better photos!

And if you don’t hear from me for a while, drop me a line and ask me what’s up with that. Words of encouragement and cheering are also welcome. Confetti gets you bonus points.


Oh yeah, and here’s my official “BEFORE” photo, and the first of many updates. Lucky you.

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*TL;DR = Too long; didn’t read. I’ve learned so much from being a blogger! 😉

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15 responses to “I’m fat. Need help.”

  1. Brent, I gotta say this: I admire your courage and honesty. I am rooting for you and wish you the best. I will also say that I would NEVER do this, although I am a bit chunky. Kudos!

    (Oh, and give Papa back his sporty spice shirt, dude. Really?)

    • Brent Almond says:

      Thanks BR! I needed to take extreme measures. I’m not around a lot of adults lately, so I needed to put the pressure on myself somehow! 🙂

      And are you making a dig at my Yankees shirt? “Sporty spice?” LOL Haven’t heard that one.
      (PS: It’s mine.)

  2. Noah Moore-Goad says:


    Loved this blog! I’m glad you’re doing this! Proud of you and can’t wait to read all about this adventure.

  3. Melissa says:

    You are brave! Good luck to you! I lost 150 pounds about four years ago and unfortunately have gained most of it back. 🙁 I don’t like healthy foods! LOL I would never have the guts to go public with a weight loss goal and post before pictures. Sounds like you’ve got a great network of support, so I’m sure you’ll be successful!

    • Brent Almond says:

      Thanks Melissa! 150? Wow! I was at 333 at my heaviest many years ago, lost a total of 75. I’ve kept half of that off for almost 10 years (give or take a few ups and downs). But I’m not satisfied where I am. Plus I’m gettin’ old!

      Thanks for the good wishes! (And congrats on the recent nuptials, btw!)


  4. Best of luck.

    I’ve dropped about 65 in the past couple years & trying to drop a few more before fall sets in… and the dangers of baked goods and holiday parties. I always end out putting on 8-10 from Sept-Christmas, then it takes me til Feb to get it back off. I figure if I end the year weighing less than the year before, it was a good year 🙂

    • Brent Almond says:

      I like the fact that you look at the year overall, and not at each month/day. The baby steps and up-and-down can get very frustrating!
      Thanks for stopping by!

  5. Anne says:

    Good Luck, Brent! You can do it!

  6. Katherine says:

    I just did this for my stepdaughter’s wedding, and it really helped to have a goal. I lost 40 pounds and have another 20 to go…some friends are visiting in October and that’s my next goal. I’ve lost weight before….this time the ultimate goal is to keep it off. To that end, I’m mostly on protein and vegetables, small amount of fruit and other carbs. Almost no sugar, and workouts 5 days a week ( light weights, floor exercises, and walking). You can do it! Best of luck!

    • Brent Almond says:

      Thanks! Good luck to you, too! It’s amazing how well our own vanity helps push us along! 😉

  7. […] lovely infographic of my chunky self, and you’ll see I’ve shed 4 lbs since starting my Chuck the Chunk (CTC) weight loss adventure. I lost all four the first week and then held steady the following […]

  8. […] here we are at the one-month mark of Chuck the Chunk — and I’m proud to say I’ve lost nine pounds! I’ve shed more weight in less […]

  9. […] don’t have anything insightful or motivational to share. Other than I’m still fat and I still need help. I am encouraged by the progress I’ve made, but know winter is my hardest time to stay active […]

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